zombie books

ADVICE FOR THE ONCOMING HORDE: SURVIVING AS A ZOMBIE

While many books exist to get you into what remains of the minds of zombies, most practical guides are made for Preppers. That’s just discrimination, people. Luckily, there’s a handful of intrepid authors who can help you survive in the new Undead World.

eaters1. The Brain Eater’s Bible: Sound Advice for the Newly Reanimated Zombie, by Pat Kilbane and J.D. McGhoul

Have you read Max Brooks’s best-selling and infamous “The Zombie Survival Guide”? Did it leave you unsatisfied because of your actual chances of survival? Here’s what Barnes & Noble.com says of the book: “Your body is numb and your memory is foggy.  Someone tried to give you medical attention, but you repaid their kindness by savagely killing them and eating their brains.  You are a zombie my friend, just like me.  Though most zombies are slow and stupid, the fact that you are reading this tells me that you are different.  Some of us are.  Welcome to the PACE virus apocalypse.

zen2. The Zen of Zombie: Better Living Through the Undead (Zen of Zombie Series), by Scott Kenemore

This post-Z self-help book is described by one reader: “This book discussed the 24 habits of highly effective zombies (which are the only kind there is), which include such genuine gems as this: be adaptable, be your own boss, remember its just stuff, and digging a grave? You’ve got it made!”

newlyundead3. So Now You’re a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead, by John Austin
Amazon.com says of this practical self-help guide and intro to being Undead: “Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. It’s difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell! (Yes, it’s you.) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains!!!
What’s a zombie to do?
Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to know, as a newly undead soul, to hunt, fight, and feed on the living. As the first handbook written specifically for the undead, So Now You’re a Zombie explains how you ended up in this predicament, the stages of zombification, and what you need to survive in this zombiphobic world.”

cookbook4. The Zombie Cookbook, from Damnation Books

This mix of short stories, recipes, and poetry will get you in the mood for upcoming Plague. Quotes, per Damnation’s website:

  • Eating half now and half for breakfast shouldn’t ruin the diet.
  • That explains the overly seasoned dinners.
    • Eating humans is hazardous to my health.

zeo5. Z.E.O.: How to Get A(Head) in Business (Zen of Zombie Series), by Scott Kenemore
Another in the Zen of Zombie series, this book will help you not only survive as the undead, but become the “Head” of your horde!

POETRY APOCALYPSE: BOOKS OF ZOMBIE POEMS

For the more sophisticated member of the undead horde, there’s several books of poetry about zombies to help prepare yourself for rising from the grave.

jack1. Jack and Jill Went Up to Kill: A Book of Zombie Nursery Rhymes, by Michael P. Spradlin and Jeff Weigel

For those parents who want to make sure their children are prepared to become members of the shambling undead, this book of nursery rhymes will catch their ear … and maybe the ears of some Preppers, too!

christmas2. It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Zombies! A Book of Zombie Christmas Carols, by Michael P. Spradlin

Do you love holidays? You may already be part of a horde of shoppers and celebrators, especially around Christmas. Get into the spirit with this book of songs to rouse the smallest of hearts.

haiku3. Zombie Haiku: Good Poetry for Your … Brains, and Dawn of Zombie Haiku, by Ryan Mecum

Both books are from the perspective of the walking dead, in haiku format, documented in journal format.

DIG DEEPER IN THE MIND: MORE ZOMBIE NOVELS

Still looking for more Undead points of view? There’s lots of novels being written from the zombies’ perspective, suggesting more and more people are beginning to realize that they’ll be part of the horde, not the survivors, after the Zombiepocalypse occurs.

brains1. Brains: A Zombie Memoir, by Robin Becker

Amazon.com’s description says: “Subtitled “A Zombie Memoir,” Brains looks at America’s favorite walking-dead flesh-eaters from an audaciously original and deliciously gruesome new perspective. Debut author Robin Becker blazes new ground with this story of former college professor-cum-sentient zombie Jack Barnes, who recounts the tale of the resistance he organized in the wake of the recent zombie apocalypse. World War Z; Shaun of the Dead; Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies… Becker tops them all with Brains—a witty, tasty treat for anyone who every spent a midnight glued to a classic George A. Romero zombie epic!”

This novel received 4 out of 5 stars, so it’s popular with the horde!

breathers2. Breathers: A Zombie’s Lament, by S.G. Browne

Goodreads.com says of the book: “Meet Andy Warner, a recently deceased everyman and newly minted zombie. Resented by his parents, abandoned by his friends, and reviled by a society that no longer considers him human, Andy is having a bit of trouble adjusting to his new existence. But all that changes when he goes to an Undead Anonymous meeting and finds kindred souls in Rita, an impossibly sexy recent suicide with a taste for the formaldehyde in cosmetic products, and Jerry, a twenty-one-year-old car-crash victim with an exposed brain and a penchant for Renaissance pornography. When the group meets a rogue zombie who teaches them the joys of human flesh, things start to get messy, and Andy embarks on a journey of self-discovery that will take him from his casket to the SPCA to a media-driven class-action lawsuit on behalf of the rights of zombies everywhere.”

The book clocks not quite a full 4 out of 5 stars, but one reviewer left a nice poem about the book:

“zombies need love too
we deserve equality
frat boys taste yummy”

lifeless3. The Lifeless: A Zombie Novel, by Lorne Dixon

Amazon.com says of the book: “A school full of kids. A mysterious yellow rain. High school will never be the same. They are outcasts and misfits, teenagers lost on the path to adulthood, living day-to-day inside a high school culture of taunts, humiliation, and isolation. They are the misunderstood, the neglected, and the abused. They are . . . The Lifeless. For them, every school day is a nightmare. But on Monday, October 2nd, they will discover the true meaning of terror. Classes are cut short by news of explosions in the city across the river, part of a series of horrific terrorist attacks that paralyze the nation. But that is only the beginning: amber clouds fill the sky, burning rain pelts down, and the surviving students of Verlaine High learn that their tormentors have mutated into something far worse-reanimated corpses with a primordial instinct for murder. It’s time to stand up to the in-crowd . . . or be consumed by it.”

This book, too, received just shy of 4 out of 5 stars, but most reviewers love the book. The two 1-star reviews suggest that the book is not that creative, but the horde overwhelmingly enjoyed the book.

GET IN MY HEAD: ZOMBIE NOVELS

So many are preparing to survive as humans through the Zombiepocalypse that we often forget how easy it is to catch a disease, trip and fall, or be caught by surprise. Most of us will be zombies when The Big Z finally happens, so it’s important to prepare for that eventuality.

Fortunately, some writers had the foresight to get us into the minds of the Zombie, so to speak. Here’s a list of novels written from the Undead point of view.

trash1. My Life as a White Trash Zombie, by Diana Rowland

The description on Barnes & Noble.com says: “Teenage delinquent Angel Crawford lives with her redneck father in the swamps of southern Louisiana. She’s a high school dropout, addicted to drugs and alcohol, and has a police record a mile long. But when she’s made into a zombie after a car crash, her addictions disappear, except for her all-consuming need to stay “alive”…”

The book received 4.5 out of 5 stars on the site. Reviews from readers say the book is “Unconventional and Entertaining,” “Excellent new series!” and that they “Really hope there’s a second.”  Only one reviewer gave the book 1 star, but provided no text in their review.

warm2. Warm Bodies, by Isaac Marion

Popularized with a movie version, this book tells a delightful story of romance from the point of view of the undead in love. Per Barns & Noble.com: “R is a young man with an existential crisis—he is a zombie. He has no memories, no identity, and no pulse, but he has dreams. His ability to connect with the outside world is limited to a few grunted syllables, but his inner life is deep, full of wonder and longing.

After experiencing a teenage boy’s memories while consuming his brain, R makes an unexpected choice that begins a tense, awkward, and stragely sweet relationship with the victim’s human girlfriend. Julie is a blast of color in the otherwise dreary and gray landscape that surrounds R. His choice to protect her will transform not only R, but his fellow Dead, and perhaps their whole lifeless world.

Scary, funny, and surprisingly poignant, Warm Bodies explores what happens when the cold heart of a zombie is tempted by the warmth of human love.”

The book has an average of 4.5 out of 5 stars as well, with 405 5-star reviews! Now that’s a horde!

memoirs3. Memoirs of the Walking Dead: A Story from the Zombie’s Point of View, by Jason McKinney

According to Amazon.com’s description: “Boy and cat lead dull lives. Boy goes to club, gets sick and dies. His cat dies too. That sucks. Boy and cat wake up dead. Zombie boy meets zombie girl. Zombie cat likes zombie girl. Zombies break up and boy joins the Army. Now unlife is even more interesting. Meet Paul Rierson. He’s a zombie; though don’t let that fool you—Paul’s got a pretty big heart considering he doesn’t have a working one. And though he’s new to the whole un-dead experience, there’s no doubt he’s a pretty thoughtful guy. Sure he craves the taste of living flesh, and there’s that whole being hunted on a daily basis thing—zombie-life is no walk in the park—but when Paul meets Tracey Dobbs, a fellow newbie to the un-dead life, he’s smitten. He also comes to realize that in matters of life and death, perhaps being alive is not all it’s cracked up to be. Oh, and one more thing—dead people rule!”

Customers on Amazon gave this book 4 out of 5 stars, saying the book was a fun read and well-told both sides of the Zombie story.